This is an ode to the angst and optimism that washes through a relaxed body and open mind, where memories, hopes, and dreams tango with failings and disappointments. When we realize what could have been, but wasn’t, and what shouldn’t have been, but was, and we feel the butterfly effect in both beauty and resentment. We mix up our lives with ideas, upbringing, trauma, doctrine, passion, curiosity, talent, exposure, and community and then we have to decide what serves us and what just simply served us. How much do we invest in hopes of a payout and when do we fold, ahem, … change direction? The outbound train you’re on could be anything or anyone or a mix of everything and maybe it will take you somewhere you didn’t know you needed to be and maybe the track will end abruptly. But maybe it wasn’t really about the destination because the moments of joy justified the journey.

The wandering eye inside my mind, 

Which wonders as it wanders by,

Sees life unseen with needs unmet 

And deeds undone and ifs unset. 

It rushes past some rolling highs, 

Considers fights, recalls some lies. 

It glances low, sees broken hearts,

Views death and ache of unfresh starts. 

It wanders and it wonders more 

Of life yet lived and what’s in store,

Of ups and downs beyond control 

That keep us stuck inside our role.

When rooted in love’s growing pains,

Where partners change and friendship wanes,

Where systems fail and efforts drift,

Where promises and values shift,

When life feels bleak beyond repair,

When conflict manifests despair,

Who says it’s wrong, who says it’s right

To suffer through the same tough fight.

We make our point, we say what’s true,

But live our journey trudging through 

Another’s joy and then their pain 

From leaping on their outbound train. 

We learn to manage, do our best, 

We strut the walk, accept the test, 

But when to stop and when to go

We don’t quite see and can’t yet know.

For hindsight is the only way

To recognize if we should stay

And fight the fight or turn away

Or try again another day.

And if it seems to run its course,

We might look back without remorse,

That though we opened up our hearts,

We’re ready now for hard fresh starts.

But rushing by our mem’ries catch

The glimpses of an ideal match,

The laughter, light, and gentle sync

We could have missed behind a blink.

Glancing at the slightest spark

Of light that penetrates the dark,

Replaces fear, that took its toll,

With hope and peace within our soul.

The wandering eye inside my mind 

which wonders as it wanders by

Views life unseen where needs get met

And deeds get done without regret.

Mind’s eye might strain, but it can’t see 

what’s headed here eventually.

The higher highs, the lower lows,

Unceasing currents’ rapid flows.

We feel the tangled journey pass,

Both light and dark within our grasp.

It takes them both to write our tale,

To make our human-ness prevail.

Today we stay aboard the train

And search for joy amidst the strain

That comes with intertwining strife

With visions of a lovely life.